


Numb

by YlvaUllsdotter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Dean x Reader, Drabble, F/M, Louden Swain - Freeform, SPN - Freeform, Sorry Not Sorry, Supernatural - Freeform, numb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 18:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14677146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YlvaUllsdotter/pseuds/YlvaUllsdotter
Summary: Dean is heartbroken after you left him. Dean’s POV.





	Numb

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [@mrswhozeewhatsis](http://mrswhozeewhatsis.tumblr.com/)' Louden Swain FanFic Challenge. When I saw the post for the challenge I just had to participate. I love Louden Swain and the lyrics to their songs are so obviously meaningful to the band, and to so many of the fans. I, unfortunately, don’t know all of Louden Swain’s songs by heart, but I looked through the song titles, checking the lyrics to the ones that caught my eye, and listening to them on YouTube. When I read the lyrics to Numb, my muse smacked me over the head, so I had to pick it. It’s pure Dean angst, and it broke my heart writing it. I’m not sorry.

_ “Please, Y/N. Please don’t.” My voice broke on the words as they were forced from my throat. _

_ “I have to, Dean. I can’t do this anymore. Every time you leave, I feel like it’s the last time. I’m tired of always living in fear of losing you forever.” Her voice broke as well, as she said the words that shredded my heart. She turned and walked away from me. The sound of the door closing at the top of the stairs felt like a knife in my heart. _

* * *

The memory replayed in my head again and again. I wanted it to stop, but it just kept repeating over and over. Each time it was like ripping open a new wound in my heart, my chest was feeling heavy like it was slowly filling with blood. 

Somehow, I ended up in my room. Part of me was seething with rage, while my head felt like it was spinning out into space as the memories of us together swirled around in my mind, reminding me of every second I got to spend with her. Except, each one of those memories also reminded me that I would never see her again.

I realized I was standing frozen in the middle of the room, head spinning with too many thoughts, too many memories. I tried to regain some semblance of thought, but I just felt numb.

Suddenly, the edge of the bed was right there and I rested my forehead against the cool sheets. I had fallen to my knees, and I felt like I was suffocating, the air refusing to enter my lungs. Struggling to breathe, I choked out her name like a prayer. My mind was full of her, and my heart was broken into a million pieces. I literally had no idea how I was going to keep living without her. 

As the memories swirled in my head, I tried to catch hold of them, to remember. To feel. But they just slipped out of my grasp, leaving me with nothing. Kneeling there at the foot of my bed, I just felt...numb.


End file.
